Friday, April 20, 2012

God's Law, God's Word, God's Name.

I can still hear my dad say, "Don't write anything you wouldn't want published in the newspaper." Today it wouldn't matter. They could edit your words. But the Holy Bible claims to be the inherent Word of God. If a good man strives to maintain a good reputation and a good name for himself, Father God is true to His word. Could we even imagine anything else? As much as He announces His names and the high value He places on His name and reputation, it is only the shadow to how highly He esteems His Word! He is only as good as His Word. His Word is truth and the true representation of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I will try to quote it from memory but I beg grace if I am weak in an area. I can always edit, right?

John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God and Ll this gs were made through Him that were made. In His is life and the life is the light of men. He came to His own and His own did not receive him. But to those who received Him He gave the power to become the children of God.

Genesis 1:1
"In the beginning God..."
Okay? Ask the Father what that means in its fullness. Ask Him questions. And more than anything, frequently ask Him, "What is the truth?" It is that simple and powerful.

As one who loves God's law, I have an active imagination that is totally given over to the Holy Spirit and I have truly enjoyed the benefits as well as the privilege of these experiences. I am so unfamiliar with success and blessing in all the walk of my life and it is wonderful to be free from a tormenting captivity and to feel clean and in Holy Spirit's control much more profoundly. I am beginning to be able to distinguish when I slip into covetousness and I lose my connection with the Father or I sense the Holy Spirit is quenched. I am an active participant in the war going on around us in our homes, work places, the store, restaurant, school, bars and night clubs and in our churches. I am purposing to stay close to and along side the Holy Spirit as we cast out demons and tear down strongholds. I am so glad to be chosen for such a rewarding ministry. I will give understanding to the many by the grace of God and in the love and admonition of the Holy Spirit. I could not survive a day without my awareness of the Holy Spirit always present, able and willing to help me in all situations according to the riches in glory that my life brings Him. It is all about God being exactly who He says He is. And by knowing Him through knowing the Word of the Holy Scriptures, we know the Father, our King and Jesus our advocate and the Helper Who is teaching me all things that are needed for the equipping of the saints. I am learning to recognize and use the gifts as He apportions out. And I am enjoying a season of protective nurturing as I get a glimpse into the realm of darkness battling forces of principalities and powers of the air and between the angelic host of many, the servants of man, totally on our behalf. We need to participate. We must pray into our part in the affairs of many around us who benefit from our prayers of worship for the Father and our adoration for His Holy Spirit. We need to understand the reality that exists whether we want it to or not has no bearing on whether it continues to torment, confuse and enrage any unsuspecting, tormented soul whether already having tasted the goodness of God or whether they are dead in their sins. I can once again say, "Once I was blind but now I see!" And as recorded in Isaiah the Prophet's book, chapter 58.
Jesus came to set the captives free. I am in the business of going about undoing the work of the deceiver and giving exhortation to the Church to rise up and cast in the sickle for the harvest is ready and the workers are few. We are praying that the Lord of the harvest send more workers into the harvest and that I would walk in confidence and boldness in the Spirit of His love. What more could anyone ever hope for or dream of, really?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Needs and Glory of God

God created man to love and be loved, to need and to be needed.

As I was pencil writing in my journal earlier today, because I was frustrated with a particular lack in my life, I spent a couple minutes in prayer to realign myself with God. It got me thinking.

The Apostle Paul of the bible says, "My God will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory." I have been meditating on the 'according to' part of that verse a lot lately. What riches in glory am I offering to God? Or, what glory is God getting from the way I am living my life? Then I thought of a comment Pastor Rob said from the pulpit, "God wants to move but will His glory be safe?"  Isaiah says, "God will share His glory with no man." Because God has me alone with Him much of my days during this season in my life, I am investing very little energy anywhere else. I wrote in my journal a list of needs I felt I inherited from Adam or I was created with. The list got long so I gleaned out these few. God is able to meet all these needs with Himself alone if He chose.

To Belong, Fulfilling my Identity in Jesus, Significance, Purpose, Security, Safety, Protectin, The Holy Scriptures, Love (to give and receive), Friendship, Intimacy, To Worship Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, Forgiveness and to Forgive, to Grow and be transformed into the image of Christ.

I have been thinking of my need to create, use my imagination, pursue excellence, to produce (provide for me and my children), to accomplish, obedience to the Word of God, intimacy in prayer, self-discipline, and living to glorify God and for His glory. I passionately want to pray big prayers from God and to be trustworthy with His glory.

I wrote this thought in my journal today:

"Man must see his sin and wretchedness before he sees the glory of God or he will be destroyed by pride."

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Big Orange: Small Orange

One January Winter afternoon, as I walked along my neighbor's driveway to give care for their rabbits while they were on vacation, I looked across a wooded area and on the ground of this grey, dreary day, I spied a large colorful orange. Upon inspection, it looked to be in perfect condition, uncompromised. I peeled it. It smelled OK. It tasted OK, and I thoroughly enjoyed this juicy orange. As I was leaving, walking back along their driveway, I heard God say, 

"I can even provide fresh citrus." 

To which I replied, "That's good because I would get tired of manna."
Two days later, I was walking down a path in my neighborhood that I seldom had reason to take. Halfway down the path,  my body turned around and I looked back to see another, much smaller orange, about 8 feet from the path. I went back and picked it up. I then continued on my way. After reaching my destination, the home of a client, I took that small orange and put it into my large coat pocket.

God said, "If you take that orange into the house you will have to share it with those four children." 

To which I said, "If I don't feel like sharing it I can just leave it in my pocket." 

After about 15 minutes in their home, I was upstairs playing with the kids so my friend could get ready for the arrival of her midwife. I didn't make a conscious decision to share the orange; I just remember sitting on the end of the bed with this tiny orange in hand, started to peel it and four little drooling, bright eyed faces waited eagerly as if anticipating a candy delight. I divied out one teeny, tiny slice to each child, then took two for me, and continued to give another slice to each of the children. 

There was one tiny section left. I held it up and asked, "Who should get this one? Me?" To which one of the little boys grabbed the slice, hesitated for any objections, and without any, he quickly put it in his mouth. This was a delightful experience.

Upon leaving their home, God said, "I will use you to feed many."

'Well, that's cool,' I thought.

I am learning I seldom truly understand the interpretation of all God says to me. But sometimes I use my imagination to envision a crowd of hungry people all around me, and after picking up a loaf sized rock, looking up to heaven, blessing God for His provision and commanding the rock to become bread. Then, I envision breaking the bread and passing it around and all eat and are satisfied. It is a fun image to have.

All we do here in this life, whether a big or small action, has consequences.

The Smith's: And Other True Warriors

This family could be listed in the Hebrews chapter 11 Hall of Fame. Their mom, Kari Smith, is a servant of the Lord and a mighty prayer warrior. Whitney Smith prays as one who has God's ear.  Cody Smith is tearing down many strongholds of the enemy. 

Correspondingly, Cody has also experienced the glory of God. He is a true last days representation of Jesus. He has been chosen with the ability to see demons in their raw form. I am glad to say, I haven't ever had an experience even remotely close to his, regarding demons. Most of my discernment are pleasant and full of satisfaction.   

This family is effectively defeating the schemes of Satan and principalities.  People are being set free; free from very heavy, dark beings inside the non-christian body. I praise God and bless The Smith Family of Calvary Corvallis, Oregon and now Brazil.

They all have friends and Church family praying for them as well. I am blessed to be part of a fellowship, in a town of so many other believers who are truly seeking God, praying for the out pouring of the Holy Spirit and asking Jesus to come quickly.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Unclean Spirits Can Occupy the Body of a Born Again Believer

In my lifetime, I have met only one demon possessed person that I know of.

I am not sure why many Christians are so set in their beliefs that a principality or unclean spirit cannot dwell inside the body of a Christian. It is clear and obvious to me but then I saw demons come out of my body and I know the freedom and clarity I have experienced as a result.

We know that sin dwells within our body. And our flesh has permanent residence until we are delivered from this corruptible shell. God says our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Well, the temple dimensions that were given to Solomon included the outer court and an inner sanctuary, the Holy of Holies. Satan goes before the throne of God in heaven to present accusations toward man. This heaven is as the outer court. Whereas, the highest heaven is restricted access only.

It is much like the effects of alcohol on the human body. When I drink alcohol, it affects my whole body. It is in my blood. I could drink a little and feel relaxed or I could consume a lot and become inebriated and out of control. The alcohol at no time possesses my Spirit, nor does it change me from who I am when sober. It does have an influence commensurate with how much I am given over to it in my consumption. Unclean spirits are much like the alcohol with one difference. Once they have gained access to a body, they don't leave unless they are called out and commanded, "Be gone in the Name of Jesus."

I do not identify with my flesh in any way. I am not a sinner though I sin. I am redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. When I choose to sin, to disregard Jesus, I am allowing my flesh to dominate. My flesh is in control. Unclean spirits have control over my actions when I let them. My Spirit has no uncleanness and cannot be defiled but it can be oppressed and held captive. If I feed my flesh then I will reap corruption. It is imperative we feed our Spirit through devotion to The Word of God. Quick repentance, forgiveness and restitution are critical to re-establish our fellowship with Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

I remember when a few months ago a number of unclean spirits were called out of my body and sent away. I asked Father God if they were all gone and He didn't answer but I could tell pride hadn't left. Since then many more unclean spirits have gone out but as long as I am subject to this corruptible body, I am also subject to war between my Spirit and my flesh. I can see and hear these entities as they entice and try to deceive me.

I find great comfort in knowing it is no longer I doing it but sin that dwells within me. Guilt and condemnation have no foothold. Neither do I struggle with constant fear or feelings of oppression. My Spirit is free and strong and growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus everyday. My identity in Jesus is sure.

When I was four years old, I began stealing candy from the corner drug store. I continued to steal throughout my childhood. I took anything that caught my fancy. Even after I was saved, I still had the compulsion to steal that which was not mine. After I had taken some coins that a friend had laying around, I was convicted and a year after the initial offense, I was making restitution. I called the girl and made arrangements for her to meet me. I told her I had stolen coins from her. I handed her the jewelry travel case that was full of many old coins, including all my silver dollars. She said she knew they were not all hers and I agreed but since I didn't know definitively which ones were hers, I was giving her all the coins I had collected through the years. That really hurt. Stealing became less attractive that day. 

Then, starting about 2 years ago, I stole two gold chain necklaces from a friend. A year later I stole some beads from the store where I volunteered. Then, after Tom died, I started stealing some of the stupidest stuff from the handicapped girl I was working for. I remember walking in the door, home from work, and with a stolen Pizza Hut gift card in hand, going straight to the phone and calling to find out the dollar amount on it. When I heard, "Forty-three dollars and sixteen cents" I was shocked back to my senses and immediately called my friend and confessed what I had done and offered to drive it right over to her. 

Well, from these behaviors and the compulsive nature that was escalating, I was sure I had an unclean spirit. I don't know if it was actually one that did end up coming out of me or not but I brought the gold chains back to my friend and confessed to the bead store owner and made restitution. I know I don't hear constant badgering to take something anymore. There is definitely a cleanness and purity and clarity of thought that I have not ever known. When confessing sin before I go to bed, I can usually tell if something has loosened and I call any unclean spirit out and command it to leave in the Name of Jesus. It is that simple.

I know I will never be released from all of them but as long as I take obedience to The Word  of God seriously, it doesn't matter.  My flesh will burn and disappear. I will live on forever in the new incorruptible body God gives me.

Job

Job Chapter 32 Elihu Rebukes Job in Anger.
Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite of the family of Ram burned; against Job his anger burned because Job justified himself before God. Elihu's anger burned against Job's three friends because they had found no answer, and yet they had condemned Job.

Chapter 32 Elihu begins his rebuke.
Chapter 33 Elihu claims to speak for God.
Chapter 34 Elihu vindicates God's justice.
Chapter 35 Elihu sharply reproves Job.
Chapter 36 Elihu speaks of God's dealings with men.
Chapter 37 Elihu says God is back of the storm.

Elihu's final statement:  Job 37:23+24
"The Almighty, we cannot find Him; He is exalted in power and He will not do violence to justice and abundant righteousness. Therefore, men fear Him; He does not regard any who are wise of heart." (Elihu's ultimate lie is one that also slanders the character of God!)

I picture God stepping in and putting himself between Job and Elihu, He faces Job but turns His back on Elihu. God does not give Elihu any acknowledgment whatsoever. Elihu is a man who became an agent for Satan. Repentance and forgiveness is neither sought nor offered. Elihu's name is not written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

God's only response to Job regarding Elihu's long dissertation of condemnation and fierce accusations is this: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?"

In trying to help other believers understand the abilities principalities have in this realm, it is important they are not given any glory nor acknowledgement. I have no need to allow any unclean spirit any response. I keep my communication with them to the simple command that they, "leave in the Name of Jesus."

Friday, February 17, 2012

Isaiah Chapter 30

Isaiah is my new most favorite book right now.
Isaiah 30:20+21
Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eves will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

Isaiah 30:22b
...and say to them, " Be gone!"

Isaiah 30:15b
"...In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength."

Quotes from Neil T. Anderson's Book

Victory Over The Darkness was written by Neil T. Anderson and copy written in 1995. 

These are quotes from his book:
The Church is not a hospital; it's a military outpost under orders to storm the gates of hell. Every believer is on active duty, called to take part in fulfilling the Great Commission.

God's love for you is the great eternal constant in the midst of all the inconsistencies of your daily walk.

Discern where someone is coming from before trying to move them to some place else.

Expose the insidious reality of Satan's relentless assault of deception on the Christian's mind.

Your past has shaped your present belief system and will determine your future unless it is dealt with. 

There is a process to maturity but people can be set free instantly. 

All sinful behavior is a wrong attempt at meeting basic needs.
1. Rejected: Need to Belong!
2. Guilt and shame: Need of Self-worth!
3. Weak and helpless: Need of Strength and Self-control! 

Today, a true sense of belonging comes from not only knowing we belong to God, but we also belong to each other.

One may try to get their needs met by the world, the flesh or the devil, or they can allow God to meet all their needs according to His riches in glory (italics mine). If you are not glorifying God then He has no source from which to meet your need. For God to meet all my needs is conditional according to His riches in glory.

Good feelings follow right behavior.

It's who you are that determines what you do and not the other way around.

No person can consistently behave in a way that's inconsistent with the way he perceives himself.

The Bondage Breaker was also written by him in 1990 and it is actually more up front about demons and their influences in the Christian's life.

Tidbit From My Journal

Keep the recipe secret if you are a Blue Ribbon winner but share the recipe for success, without a personal agenda, and you will truly succeed.

Jesus Modeled His Relationship With Father God

I don't remember what I was talking to God about perse, but I remember The Holy Spirit telling me, "To become like Jesus is as simple as loving God as Jesus loved His Father!" Now that I have been released from so many principalities, becoming like Jesus becomes very clear, very simple, very doable. Lately, I have been able to identify with David. I am able to say, "I love Thy Law. I meditate on it day and night. I am careful to do according to all that is written in it." As long as I continue to keep my heart wholly belonging to Father God, He is able to graciously keep me from stumbling. I know He will share His glory with no man. I want to see His glory and live in His powerful glory all the days of my life. I need not fear my flesh.

The deepest desire of my heart is to know and understand. I also desire to finish the race, that is set before me, well; and to live each day for the Glory of God. I live to glorify God. By His grace I will continue to do so.

Bitterness and Rebellion

My late husband's bitterness grew and grew over the years. Many doors were opened to the demonic realm around us. Rebellion was as deeply entrenched as bitterness and it continued to prevail until the last year or two of Tom's life. Rebellion and bitterness rendered Tom unable to see, hear or receive love. I vividly remember one afternoon sitting and visiting with him for about 3-4 hours and it was very pleasant. I made a comment that I perceived as constructive criticism. Tom immediately reacted as if the whole afternoon was spent with me verbally criticizing and being negative toward him.

It was then that I realized Tom was unable to see, hear or feel love from me. God gave me the following imagery: 
Love words and words of kindness were represented by pink and red.
Critical and negative words were represented by grey and black.

That afternoon, many pink and red words were exchanged and all was pleasant. But when one comment of grey or black words was made, Tom reacted as if the whole afternoon had been spent in this dark place. It was profoundly obvious the damage bitterness and a critical spirit had had on Tom's ability to relate to me in the Spirit.

People who are given over to a bitter spirit or a spirit of rebellion are incapable of seeing, feeling, hearing and expressing sincere, pure love from any source. They are in bondage and are held captive by their sin, even though they may be born again and their Spirit loves God with all their heart, their capacity to give and receive love is severely hindered. Their Spirit suffers imprisonment. But Tom pressed on and survived in spite of being oppressed and unable to receive the goodness of God, His glory, friendship with The Comforter, as well as, love from Him and others in his life. My husband's spirit was often overshadowed by his flesh. He seldom, if ever, read the Word of God and He often accused me of being a hypocrit because I did spend so much time in the Word. But when Tom was in the Spirit, he loved people with as profound a self sacrificing love as one can have this side of eternity future. My husband was a great man.

Hosea

God led me to read the 3rd Chapter of Hosea today. I didn't realize Hosea was told to take another wife (another adulteress) after Gomer: 
Hosea 3
"Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes." So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley. Then I said to her, "You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you." For the sons of Israel will remain for many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar and without ephod or household idols. Afterward the sons of Israel will return and seek the LORD their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the LORD and to His goodness in the last days.

I always identified with Hosea and understood His relationship with God. God told me to marry Tom Winter. I never doubted I did the will of God in marrying him even when things got tough as they will in all marriages (though God gave me grace to obey Him). I asked God about three years ago, "Why have I been praying for 23 and 1/2 years that Tom be healed but he still hasn't been healed of his broken heart?"

God said, "Because My Church is suffering from a broken heart and She is harboring a spirit of bitterness." 

I know what a broken heart looks like. I know the limitations, the unbelief, the suffering. I have seen the devastating, crippling effects of bitterness.

I always knew my marriage to Tom was for the development of my ministry as a Preacher. I feel honored to have been loved by Tom Winter and the sacrifice his life was for God's purposes to be fulfilled. I am blessed to be able to say to our children, "I am blessed and I feel honored to have been your dad's wife." I have been loving Tom and enjoying the memories of our marriage through the Holy Spirit. It is as if I am getting to enjoy a honeymoon/newlywed phase during this time of loss and grief.

Crossing The Finish Line Well

Wormwood, The parasite of liquid bitterness, was gone. But I knew I wouldn't see financial freedom and/or prosperity during Tom's lifetime, but I also knew the curse wouldn't be passed down to my children.

Tom began to lose everything he had invested in his time and talents and money. He lost years of autobody memorabilia, tools, machinery, guns and collectable cars. He lost the Model T his dad bought 46 years earlier that he bought for him and Tom to work on together, because Tom was into cars though his dad wasn't. Tom's dad died a week later in 1961, after the maiden voyage of the newly purchased 1927 Model T.

During our marriage, Tom would put money into rebuilding the model T while I was having to go to the food bank to feed the children and bills often went unpaid. It was common for us to have the power or water turned off or the phone disconnected. Tom would borrow money but seldom remember to pay it back. I had no ablity to influence him to the positive and I became very angry and full of rage. I sank into hopelessness. The Holy Spirit became my husband, my protector, provider, my friend.

During the last few years of his life, Tom lost many collectables he had bought and fixed up through the years.  He had to let go of guns to a pawn broker. He sold his 1947 Indian Motorcycle to a dear friend of the family, Marty, a serrogate brother. He "lost" 1000 art lithographs of the Spruce Goose each with the 5 signatories of the original cockpit members during the maiden voyage (except Howard Hughes, of course). Each print would retail for $1200 unframed. I am not sure Tom was too aware of all he lost but the last year of his life he proclaimed, "I know it was God's will I lost the beach house and all my business inventory. Blessed be the Name of God." The glory God received from Tom finishing the race of his life well, is incomprehensible. Tom not only finished the race well; his homecoming was a gloriously glorious celebration.

Visceral Indicators

Visceral  is a new word Father God gave me when I was first describing the roles demons have had in my life. If you know Father God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and therefore, also acquainted with principalities, you have had a visceral response to these subjects. What that simply means is your physical body has experienced physical changes in relationship to your encounters with these spiritual beings. At times, I get Holy Ghost bumps when the Holy Spirit gets excited within me. I felt the Holy Spirit jump for joy within me when Pastor Rob first announced our all church corporate week of fasting a little over 2 years ago. My soul was hungry for the life that fasting was going to propel me towards. I have felt profound joy and awe around the worship of God's glory while sitting at my husband's deathbed. I have felt uneasy when I have encountered other people who have demons heavily influencing their lives.

When The Holy Spirit has done an amazing deliverance in my life in the past, He has had me sleep deprived or I was fasting and focused in prayer. The most profound encounter I have had to date was early one August morning 2008. I hadn't slept well for a couple weeks then, this one night, I was tired of lying in bed so I finally got up and sat at the kitchen table and started to shuffle a deck of cards to play solitaire when I heard God say, 

"You were going to pray the blood of Jesus." 

I sat upright and said, "Oh yea, I was going to pray the blood of Jesus." 

I then got up from the table and raised my hands high. Out loud I asked Jesus, "Cover this house with the blood of Jesus, I put the blood of Jesus over all the doorways, mirrors, windows," and in my mind's imagination I saw the blood of Jesus being poured out over all I prayed. I envisioned each person and mirror being covered as I continued, "I put the blood of Jesus over everyone in this house; John, Jamie, Amelia, Tom, our animals, myself." Then I sat down as if I was going to continue playing cards.

Suddenly, my body turned, facing the head of the table and my attention was focused on a small entity standing there just head and shoulders above the tabletop. I began to speak. Out of my mouth came the words: "Your time is up. The fourth generation is passed. You have authority no more. Be gone!" And it was gone.

I asked God, "What was that?"

"Wormwood." Was His clear answer. I felt dazed and sleepy so I went over to the couch and layed down. I fell asleep quickly and upon wakening a couple hours later God said, "You didn't thank Me."

"Oh thank you, thank you." And I sang a song of worship to Him and my voice was sweeter than I had ever heard. I began asking God questions like, "What was that?"

"A parasite of liquid bitterness." Was His clear answer.

Yuk, was my visceral response. "Where did he come from?"

I heard in my mind, "Jack Winter, The Gentleman Pirate."

Jack Wnter was Tom's ancestor, probably 4 generations back, who sailed with Jacques Le Feat, the pirate captain who settled in New Orleans. LA. They were gun runners for the American revolutionaries fighting the British to keep America a Free World. Apparently, Jack Winter didn't run anyone through with the sword but he was a thief on the open seas, committing High Treason against the Crown. I knew, for years, there was a curse on Tom's life because every business venture Tom set his hand to turned to dust. Each venture had great potential for great success but it would fail miserably, and Tom often had financial battles with the merchants or customers with whom he did business.

I Knew She Could Be Of Help

I spent time with my new friend, Kimberly. I gradually introduced the topic of demons and the oppression they cause. I was able to share with her my need for someone to help me identify the strongholds that still plagued me with the sense of an inability for self control in a couple areas. Since she didn’t run for the door, this assured me of her willingness to stand by and help with prayer however needed. I said, "That’s great, because there are a lot of them still hanging around." One manifestation I kept dealing with was a ‘damaging’ type spirit.


Later that afternoon, while Kimberly and I were sitting on the front porch, I sensed something and very quietly said, "You get out in the name of Jesus." Kimberly silently prayed and my body began to twitch. "Be gone…Be gone in the name of Jesus." This lasted for about 10 seconds. Then I was still. "Fill me with Your Holy Spirit Father and keep me clean." That was the most reactionary experience I have had and it was facilitated by Kimberly’s prayerful spirit. This was exactly the kind of help I had been looking for. I began to notice I felt clean and for the rest of the afternoon, the glory of the Lord was magnificent and I sensed being full of the Holy Spirit. Another observation was how quickly I was able to identify when my pride reared it’s ugly head and I was in the flesh. I had recently prayed God would make clear the delineation between my flesh and my spirit. For the first time, I recognized the subtle change that rendered me in the flesh.

Women's Retreat in Turner, OR Feb. 2012

At the Calvary Women's Retreat this past weekend in Turner, Oregon, a friend shared how she has been on a whirlwind journey since the first of January and has filled her recorder with thoughts through the experience. I too have been on an amazing journey since the death of my husband. At the retreat, God established me. A couple years ago I received a word from God from my Pastor, Rob Verdeyen. According to my memory, he said there was a building being constructed and he saw a pile of stones that had been set aside for some time and he asked Father God why they were discarded or not being used. Then what I also heard next was, "These stones are cut for a specific purpose, a chosen place in the building." I then saw the pile and as Rob continued to describe the stones, I also saw a stone that was curved and smooth on one edge and rough and unique on the other edge. Rob mentioned one of the stones was to be used in an arch. Father God then told me, "You are that archway stone being held for specific placement." 

During this same 2 year period of time, God used our church secretary, Cindy, to help me understand something God was showing me one day. I told her I felt like there was a bit and bridle in my mouth with constant slight tension holding me back. I wanted to let go and run with all my might but the Father was saying not yet. We talked about race horses and the relationship between jockey and horse. I no longer feel the bit, nor is there anything holding me back. God will lead me with His eye. As I turn to the right or the left, I will hear the voice of The Beloved Holy Spirit saying, "This is the way." 

We wrote on stones what our new name was and I had been given several through the years so I went and found a larger stone so I could write all of the names on it. Champion Race Horse was one of the names, along with Archway Stone.  Since becoming Established Preacher, there is a tranquility and sureness I am right where I am supposed to be and He will guide me as I continue to put one foot in front of the other until He says, "Be still, wait." I love my new confidence in my relationship with Jesus.

How Do We Recognize Them?

At first it usually requires an outsider to recognize the presence of an unclean spirit, because we are blinded and unable to see what others are able to see. We are inside looking out and what we think we are projecting may be different than what others are actually seeing. Sometimes our voice can have an accusing tone but we think we are delivering a constructive criticism. After deliverance of just one principality, often a person will begin to recognize when another manifests itself, and will often expose the presence of the others. Many are familiar and it is very difficult to accept it as a principality. Someone given to a spirit of fear will often quote, "I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power…" Well, often they do have a spirit of fear and it didn’t come from God.  So where did it come from? And are you willing to let it go?


And since they are subject to us through the blood of Jesus, how do we assert our authority over them?
Once an unclean spirit is recognized it is a matter of simply saying, "Be gone in the Name of Jesus." Allow your voice to remain calm, firm and speak with authority. The Holy Spirit has been teaching about these things for 31 years now. But, it wasn’t until my husband’s demons were out of my life that I was able to "see" my own. I had an experience where I spoke to a precious young friend of mine and she looked at me with fear and wouldn’t take my hand. I turned to her mother and asked what was wrong and she said, "Because you yelled at her" That wasn’t what I heard or meant to deliver in my voice at all. I began to suspect it wasn’t me who said it in the first place. Another subtle clue is body language. Sometimes I noticed I would make a gesture that wasn’t characteristic of me or my personality. In one instance I happened to be in the bathroom facing the mirror. I looked into my eyes and said, "I see you. You come out in the Name of Jesus." There is usually an exhale or a shiver and it is gone. It is that simple. Let me say it again, it is that simple.
The most difficult part in this whole process is being willing to accept the possibility a principality could be dwelling in your body.


Initially and with strong manifestations, it is common to require a prayer partner to simply pray with you. Until you experience it for yourself, it will probably be necessary for another to pray with you through it.

Where Are They?

They occupy the realm around us but these powers of the air desire to inhabit a human body so they can wreak the most havoc upon the individual and all those around him.


What are their limitations?
They are not created in the image of God so they have no imagination. They must rely on human nature and by initiating a lie, they let our imaginations do the work for them.
Their sin is against the Holy Spirit and they are unable to repent, nor are they to ever be forgiven.  They cannot make a Christian do anything against his will. These powers need to have our cooperation to fulfill their evil schemes. And they are confined to stay within the boundaries God places on them in each situation.


What kinds of authority have they been given?
Satan has the authority to go before the throne of God (I suspect outer court) and present accusations against any one of us. Each entity has different abilities or specialties if you may. Personify any sin and you have the composite of a demon. Some are more powerful than others. Jesus explained to the disciples, after they were successful in delivering many from demons but then they could not cast out a particular demon, "This kind comes out only with prayer and fasting."


What empowers them?
Sin empowers them. Dabbling with the occult, bitterness and unforgiven, Rebellion (is as the sin of witchcraft), sexual sin, pornography, greed and the oppression of the poor, and most of all, pride. Each time they are successful in tempting us to sin, and we succumb, they are empowered and their stronghold on our lives is strengthened.

What Are These Principalities?

Most Evangelical Christians have the understanding demons are fallen angels that followed Lucifer in revolt, were cast out of heaven and the earth became their domain. Their agenda to steal kill and destroy is targeted at us human beings because we are the apple of Gods eye. It is Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit who are the real focus of who they are trying to hurt.


In the book of Job, Elihu is the youngest and the 4th person to speak to Job and present his opinions. Elihu was a man, born into a family and educated as a Rabbi. His words are religious and sound right but they are manipulated to accuse Job. After Elihu’s dissertation is done, God addresses Job with the truth. God then offers forgiveness to Job’s 3 friends on the basis Job was willing to offer a sacrifice for each, thus extending his own forgiveness to them. God, the Word makes no further mention of this accuser.


It is important we do not give acknowledgment or credit to these entities beyond recognizing their existence and procuring freedom for those who are bound and held captive by them.

Another Written Account

I wasn’t surprised to see it. I wasn’t afraid. I actually felt a surreal peace and calm. I spoke to it. "I see you." The image of a goats head was faintly visible but I could distinctly recognize the change in facial expressions as he reacted to my reply. I was lying comfortably in bed and looking up at my ceiling fan,  It was where the light fixture would have hung that I saw his face. "You can’t stay here any longer." I felt good releasing the truth as a death sentence. Again facial expressions change only this time many expressions were manifested in seconds of time. I couldn’t tell if I was looking at the face of different demons or the many faces of one big guy. Didn’t matter. It was time. "Be gone in the name of Jesus, and you go where He sends you." Nothing. They were gone and I couldn’t even conjure up the illusion I saw. Then I remembered, I had asked God to show me the nether world. "Not that I want to be grossed out or scared or anything. I just want to be aware. I want eyes that see. Seemed I prayed for eyes to see and ears to hear for a couple years now. The insights I have had until now were nice but this was warfare and I was not going to stand by and just take it any more.

I lived with my own demons most of my life and married a man who carried many of his own. We made life miserable for each other though we loved each other deeply.  We were so entrenched in bondage neither of us could see what was all around us and functioning through us and we were not even aware. I was aware Tom wasn’t aware because I used to say to my friends all the time,  "He doesn’t have a clue, "

My husband hadn’t felt well for many months and I had known for years he would go before me and I knew he was leaving so much behind that no one in the family was all that interested in inheriting. Right now it represents an overwhelming insurmountable amount of work and I am tying to do it all alone.  I worshipped God today with a sweetness I had not yet experienced. I know the International Day of Worship this year has influenced me and my relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Having tasted such sweet divine presence of Holiness, I will enter into it again and again.

The Spirit Realm Around Us

One of the few books I read in my lifetime was Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness. I didn't want to be influenced by any one Else's style of writing. Most of the books I have read are non-fiction Christian/ Bible type books. One thing I have read is the Word of God, Old Testament and New Testament. I would like to write a book of the same genre as This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. I have been developing a storyline for years but recently realized I will see and understand just as I need to when it is time for me to start writing for pleasure, though the book would be as educational as it would be entertaining. I want Christians to understand the magnitude of our influence in the spirit realm. By understanding or recognizing the lie that plagues the individual, we are able to expose it to the light and cover the truth in the blood of Jesus.Once the lie is exposed,, it's power of influence is broken, just like chains. Meditate on the correlating Truth that is pure and completely Truth, The Sword of the Spirit, The Word of God.

WARFARE by Carmen Lee Kirk Winter

The bible doesn’t give details of all the demons Jesus called out of people  during the three years of his ministry but the Pharisees were quick to accuse Him of casting out demons by the power of Beelzebub. I have had long time acquaintances unfriend me on Facebook because I spoke of demons being able to dwell in the Christian body.  Many Christians react the same way if you tell them you believe the gift of Tongues is for today. I personally have that gift and I pray in tongues all the time as I am alone a lot in this season of my life and I get to dance, sing, shout and pray in tongues out loud without bothering anyone.

WARFARE by Carmen Lee Kirk Winter is written for the few Christian warriors who are willing to remain open minded enough to read this book prayerfully and see if there be truth in the pages that compels them to grow as effective prayer warriors. The greatest truth is: Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

I love God’s law with all my heart and I have hidden His Word in my heart as one who has studied and read the Bible daily for many years and I am one who stands before the Lord and I sit at His feet often.

I would not be writing this book if not for the conviction Father God wants it written. I have had break through and deliverance from bondage all through my 30+ years as a born again believer of Jesus the Christ.

Ten Minutes At The Throne Of God

It was the middle of the night and I was staying the night at my married friend’s house. Jim and Zana were high school sweethearts and Zana and I were Nursing School classmates at University of Portland. Zana was my best and only friend at the time but that gets into a whole other story. Anyway, I awakened and went to the bathroom. I don’t remember everything but I remember slinking down to the floor and wrapped my arms around the toilet bowl and put my head down on the lid and cried out to God to use be in a big and mighty way. I have never forgotten that Spirit led time with God. All but 5-15 minutes but I was near the throne of God.

Our Body Is a Temple

Our body contains our spirit and our flesh, clean and unclean, incorruptible and corruptible. And like the temple that Solomon built according to God’s precise specifications, there is an outer court and the holy of holies. A believer’s spirit is one with Jesus and the Holy Spirit dwells within. Our flesh occupies the place where sin dwells within us and this is in the outer court of our body and it wages war against us.


In his letter to the Romans, Paul addresses the conflict we face as long as we remain in this corruptible body. He says that when he does the very thing he does not want to do, it is no longer him doing it but sin that dwells within him.


How is it Christians are able to believe this truth, but cannot accept that a principality could dwell within them?


It is not only possible for principalities to reside in a Christian’s body, it is very likely because the perpetuation of the sins of the fathers and the degradation of morality today. Only a sinless life from sinless parents would guarantee no compromise.


Principalities and powers of the air are all around us. They are many, but there are twice as many angels who are following the commands of the Almighty.

Idols Fortified By Pride Come Crashing Down

One August Monday night I attended class at church Beth Moore’s Breaking Free. We were learning about idols and I asked God to show me if I had any. A week later I was at early morning prayer and I dominated the group and was in the flesh. At the end of the meeting, I thanked a brother for his prayer of love that covered me with grace. I stated to him, "I am not easy to love," He responded and said again, I know I am difficult to love, he responded again, after I said, " I am odd and not easy to love, I heard him this time: "You are lovable., I told him I heard him and I would follow up with that with God when I got home.  At home, I was in my closet kneeling when I asked God to show me what the truth was. He opened my eyes to see that when I was being formed inutero, the enemy planted the lie, "You and not lovable," and I believed him. I never had friends and my kindergarten teacher told my mother, "What that girl needs is a damn good liken," I overheard mom telling Dad years later, "One thing that girl didn’t lack was likens."  

 God showed me I justified my "odd" behavior and no friends with thinking God had a calling on my life and I didn’t need friends. God let me know I was created with an insatiable desire to know and understand things and my belief in the lie perverted it to being a know it all. My pride fortified the lie over and over and the lie actually became an idol. I repented and wept profusely. Just 5 months earlier, I told God I was dubbing me Queen Know it all. I was at the end of myself totally unable to change my unattractive behaviors and unless He did anything to change me I was giving up.
A week later I mentioned to God, "Hey, I am no longer Queen Know it All so what is my new name?"  


Some time passed and He said, "Martyr." Well, that isn’t what I would have come up with. I also knew He wouldn’t tell me that now if it just meant how I was going to die so I asked a friend. She said, martyr means witness and we associate it with death because that is the ultimate witness. One thing that has always been easy for me and that is talking and preaching and speaking out the truth. I had a deep desire to know and understand and it isn’t perverted anymore. I ask God a lot of questions and He gives me the answers if and when it is the right time for me to have that understanding.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Principalities and Powers Of the Air

When I started studying Revelation a couple years ago, I began using my imagination to put pieces of the puzzle together. What if there are more principalities in the realm around us than there are people on planet earth at this time? All I know is they are more common and dirversified than I ever realized. They are not to be feared. Being released from the grasp of past sin and many principalities has me also aware how simple deliverance is. For the most part, the process of being freed from them is simple. The difficulty is being willing to recognize them in your life and part of the bondage/captivity Jesus wants to release us from.

Anyone Can Be An Agent Of Satan

I can imagine what Peter felt when Jesus turned to face him and rebuked him firmly, "Get behind me Satan..."  I have had more than my share of "Get behind me Satan" Peter type experineces. Do you think Peter shrivelled back when confronted with an enemy principality? Of course not! He called them out. Peter knew He didn't have a spirit of fear. But, unlike so many others, Peter didn't have to keep reminding himself that God didn't give him a spirit of fear because he knew he didn't have a spirit of fear, period. But, to the person who struggles with a spirit of fear, they are now 'seeing' for the first time that someone gave it to him because he definately has a spirit of fear. We know Satan is the Father of Lies. There are myriads of principalilties, nuances of fear, but there are only 3 categories of sin: The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the boastful pride of life. I can see 450 million billion fallen angels fitting into any one of these three categories. Whether being an agent of Satan or a foreign entity/principality setting up house in the temple of my body, they are both possible. I have experienced both as a committed Christian. My Spirit suffers every time either of these take place in me or through me. 


As I began writing this blog, I was led to Mark 16:17 while looking for the passage where Jesus had just finished telling His disciples He was going to die and predicting His resurrection, when Satan rebuked Jesus. And Jesus turned and faced Peter and rebuked him saying, "Get behind me Satan..." I look forward to the next time I read this passage. I have more questions.


Mark 16:17
These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

Living In a Fog

While the changes are stark and vivid in my memories, I am writing of my most recent deliverances. I am able to recognize the existance of principalities. They can occur daily or occassionally but the neat thing is, I am aware when they show up. I have a mental clarity and I am able to hear my own thoughts without loud, cluttering background noise. A few years ago, having a contempletive moment in the shower, I told God I know I knew His voice but I couldn't tell if it was the enemy's voice or my own thoughts for that matter. I started asking Him to help me hear better. I also asked Him to let me see demons; not that I wanted to be grossed out or freaked out in any way, I just wanted to understand the realm around me regarding the spiritual war. Well, after "seeing" as many demons as I have these past few years, and benefitting from the many that no longer torment me from within me, I am thinking clearly (though I still benefit from taking my Adderall). My mind is filled with my own thoughts and conversations with The Father. The lies of the enemy are distinguishable. The more I hide the Word of God in my heart and meditate on it day and night, the more I am able to discern the lie and sin becomes a deliberate act of my flesh.

When I was first saved, I thought Christianity had just begun with the Jesus movement of the 60s and 70s. And through most of my adult life I thought I was the only one that walked in bondage without knowing the degree to which I was in bondage? People have never been naturally drawn to me. And, if we were drawn together for one reason or another, the friendship didn't last long. I seemed to put people off, or it seemed like I made them uncomfortable. I was so familiar with that lack of ease I felt around others. But, lately, I have been laughing. I am able to come up with a well timed quip that eases tension. I still can't remember punch lines so I doubt I will win any comedian contests but it is a healthy and very welcomed change to my existence. My Spirit and The Holy Spirit and I really enjoy each other's company. I don't have a barrage of lies and empty thoughts and accusations cluttering up my mind and my feelings.


So, in case there is another person who has been abused or abused anyone, and could have his eyes opened to 'see' for the first time the captivity he is in, and is willing to ask God to show him, "What is the truth?" I am willing to lay bare all my encounters with different enemy that dwelt within me, that he might find freedom and experience the same cleansing I have. I have a clean heart. My mind is clear, there is a lilt to my voice, I laugh and I have a sense of being established that I no longer am nervous about not getting His message or thinking my own thoughts were His way. 

During the women's retreat, God led me to a passage in Isaiah Chapter 30. 
verse 20.  
Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher.
verse 21.  
Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

I no longer live in a fog.

Amelia, Born This Day

What a celebration today is for me. I have a precious 17 year old daughter who was born at 0802, on 02/16/95. A gift to her father, and a gift to me. She is a gift to her brother John Paul and a gift to her sister Jamie. She is a gift to her friends and to her friends' parents and siblings. Amelia Rose Winter is a gift from God. What a neat identity to have. 

God has given me several names through the years. At 18, as a new born again believer in Jesus, God named me Quick to Repent, "I see!" Preach it Sister! New Arrival, just to name a few. There was a dry season or at least one full of distractions. I graduated from University of Portland with my BSN and practiced nursing till 2003 when I surrendered my RN license because I have ADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder). After coming back to The Lord, around August 2004, He named me: She who submits. 

I began to hear from Him again but it wasn't until we started going to Calvary Corvallis, that The Word of God became a nourishing part of my life. My most recent name The Beloved has given me is : Established Preacher. My days are currently spent writing, preaching and spending time in the presence of Jesus with The Holy Spirit in prayer or feasting upon The Word of God.

I believe Isaiah 61 and 62 hold meaning for the identity Father God has for my sweet Amelia Rose. I will pray as He shows it to her.

Warfare

"The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but powerful for the tearing down of strongholds."


In Hosea chapter 3, God promises we will not fight with bow or sword. Our survival during these precarious and insecure days depends upon our faith in Jesus and the practice of prayer without ceasing.


We fight not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. Paul calls the devil the mighty prince of the powers of the air.


Jesus went around casting out demons. As uneventful as He may have orchestrated it to be, casting out unclean spirits was a significant investment in Jesus’ time and ministry.


Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. A study of the Jewish temple helps to understand the main idea being communicated. I have a place I go to in my heart that I consider the Holy of Holys of my temple. But, this flesh and blood temple also has an outer court. It is in this section of my body that demons are able to inhabit. The bowels and gut are common designated areas of uncleanness. My physical body (temple) has an outer court and the Holy of Holys. I feed my spirit every day, usually pure bible. And I pray. I simply talk to God and ask Him a lot of questions. I am loved and cared for and secure in the arms of my beloved Father God.


Casting out demons is simple but requires submission to the authority of Jesus. We simply let the Holy Spirit shine. Recognizing the presence of an unclean spirit is another matter.


We are all subject to these unclean spirits in varying measures. Our flesh wages war with our Spirit. Paul understood and wrote in his letter to the Romans:


"When I do the very thing I do not want to do, it is no longer I doing it but sin that dwells within me." Rom 7


Today there is a different emphasis on "deliverance" than there was 30 years ago. I am at war and the war is in my members. Our weapons are the blood of Jesus, our right standing before Father God, prayer and prayer with fasting, worshiping God, singing, dancing, etc., but this book focuses on the weapon of speaking the Word of God from a disciplined tongue that is under submission to the Holy Spirit: The sword of the Spirit.


I love Isaiah chapter 58. He (Jesus) came to set the captives free! Believing lies maintains our captivity.


"He has not given us a spirit of fear…" is quoted to me often if I say something to arouse the fear factor in their body. My new comeback: "Well, who is giving that spirit of fear then?"


When I recognize behaviors that I have that I don’t want it is probably my flesh and therefore, sin, a stronghold or a demon. If I "see" something behind my eyes that isn’t me, I just say, "I see you. You be gone in the Name of Jesus. Then I usually ask God, "What was that? Or better yet, "Where did he come from? How did he get a stronghold? Show me the sin and anything I need to repent of. Is there anything I need to do to make restitution?" Some principalities are generational and were passed down through our parents and grandparents, and ultimately, Adam. All have sinned, so it is also our sin that is responsible for opening a door, allowing them to obtain access and set up camp in the outer court of our body, their new home. Christians can have a demon inside their body. It is much like alcohol. It’s concentration in the human body is even measured in the blood. There are varying degrees of bondage, just as you can be under the influence of alcohol or completely inebriated by it.


Alcohol influences the body that consumed it. It does not influence a person’s spirit. Our sin not only separates us from God, it also opens a door into the realm where powers of the air dwell and makes your "house" available to them. Sin dwells in my flesh. A principality can dwell in my body also.

Writing My Story

I spent most of my 55 years of life battling demons and learning to survive life as it was handed to me. I have been practicing writing in my heart and my head for years. I have always wanted to write a book that is a hit out of the park or not write it at all. This is the book I was meant to write.


There are so many facets in my story just as there are in yours. I am in a season of my life where I am able to spend lots of time in the arms of my Father. The Holy Spirit is my Teacher. It is the sweetest place to be.


I am a new widow. My husband died 4-21-11. I have 4 children surviving grief. I have been waiting on the Lord and His timing because I know what I have to do.


This book is about repentance, forgiveness, The Glory of The Lord, Jesus, my Deliverer and Redeemer, Restitution and Restoration. By the sounds of it. It should be 1200 pages long. What if I am writing a chapter in the bible days of the future, directed by the Holy Spirit and governed by my own conscience. And last but not least, occasionally I am able to detect unclean spirits. I am learning on the job by focusing on cleaning my own house. This needs to be done in both realms. I have too much stuff (my home is cluttered) and years of baggage!


This book isn’t written to be entertaining, it simply walks you through my learning curve of life, and shares some victories to encourage you to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. This book is written to assist you in practicing spiritual warfare. What that looks like for you is for you to seek after with Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit.

My Demons

My first realization of, and encounter with, demonic entities was after Tom died and I was taking care of Rachel Joy, a 23 year old medically fragile girl. Her mother, Stephanie was always with us. One day, I saw a demon in Stephanie, and I asked a trusted prayer warrior who knew both me and Stephanie, for prayer. It was the next day I became aware of my own demons. I put a call in to Pastor Jack but I still hadn’t heard back from him. He is the pastor at Life Springs Foursquare church. I had left a couple messages on the church’s voice mail.  He and his wife both practice spiritual warfare. Then one day, after I recognized a demon influencing my behaviors, I drove straight to my daughter's house, after calling her and letting her know I was on my way. When I arrived, Jamie met me outside. It was in normal conversation with me that Jamie saw the foreign entity in my eyes, though she didn’t know what to think.


"Mom, you don’t even look like yourself," Jamie exclaimed quietly. I knew what was happening. I needed deliverance of a principality. Jamie added, "You’re weirding me out!"


I felt my body mannerisms were not my own.  There was something in me who knew he was caught and now unable to hide. He was nervous. He would no longer be allowed to stay in my body.


Jamie was quick to offer, "Let’s go in the house and pray."


Sitting side by side on her small twin bed, Jamie and I started praying. Nothing unusual or special was prayed but shortly I felt the entity leave as I let out a quiet sigh type exhale.


Nothing was spoken about the incident and no real spiritual warfare was engaged in at the time but I realized how easy it was to deal with them once they were recognized.


During the six months since the death of my husband, I had been noticing things around me I never had noticed before. It was as if I was seeing clearly for the first time. For years I had asked Father God to bring me back to life. I had been turned off or shut down for many years, since March 1996.


After seeing and dealing with the image of the goat's head, a few weeks later, while all alone in the house, I asked God to reveal my demons to me. Then, while washing my hands in the bathroom, I noticed the look on my face was not my own.


I quietly said, "I see you." Yes, I saw him and I could tell he knew it. "Be gone in the name of Jesus. You no longer have my permission to stay. I am covered in the blood of Jesus, so leave, now!" I spoke quietly but emphatically.


I exhaled. He was gone. I asked to have others revealed. My body movements changed and I saw another. I repeated the command and he left. Few more met their fate and I was amazed at the ease of the whole experience. All of a sudden I started to realize I felt clean.


‘Pastor Jack was right, this is easy.’ That was months ago and I have dealt with many different demons since then.

Tom's Demons Came Visiting

The room felt even darker than the dingy white walls and poor lighting offered. Looking into the large round mirror of the vanity beside my bed, I asked Father God about the darkness and feeling of oppression.  "What is it?" I asked.


I then saw what looked like the small head of a goat where the ceiling fan light was.  "I see you." I said.


His expression became one of acknowledgment and quickly changed to despair, shock and then many pathetic/evil expressions. It seemed like hundreds of different expressions manifested in what seemed like 10 seconds or less.  I felt invigorated and I was in no hurry to dismiss them: "I know you," I said to the image.


"You can’t stay any longer." Many more expressions revealed. I found myself enjoying the experience and I wasn’t in any hurry to relieve their torment. They were the many that had been tormenting me and my late husband for at least the 4 years they lived in that house. "I am covered in the blood of Jesus." She very confidently said. Then his expression changed to one of fear. Many expressions of pure fear.


"Be gone in the name of Jesus." There, I said it. "And you go where He sends you." The goat face disappeared.  I turned to the mirror and asked, "Was that one or many?"


"Does it matter?" God answered.


"No." I agreed. "So where did you send them?"


"To Hades." God confided. "They won’t be tormenting another human being ever again."

A Day As A Thousand Years

There was so much peace as I sat at his bedside. I was almost in a trance watching him breathe. I was engaging with visitors and pleased with their solemn awe of what was transpiring. They engaged him as they patted him on the shoulder and said, "Say ‘Hi’ to my mom for me. She is probably teaching art with my sister."


It was 6 months after Tom died that I began to document events that have occurred since that time. This story is about the 6 hours Tom’s body was sustained by 100% O2, and his autonomic nervous system couldn’t shut down because his O2 sats were being maintained at high levels artificially. A couple months after Tom died, I was looking into the bathroom mirror and was talking to God as usual, when I noticed I was feeling alive and connected with my surroundings and feeling really in the moment.


"Show me how to be alive." I asked the Father. And He began to reveal parts of a truth that keeps being confirmed everyday I breathe.


"You were resurrected the day Tom died." God said to me.


I think I said, "What?"


"During those last hours, Tom left his body and was at your side with his arms around you."


I pondered this marvelous thought for days then another portion of the picture was revealed. There was so much glory for God that week and the weeks to follow. It was only now that I was getting a glimpse behind the veil. Tom’s hospital room was inhabited by glorious creatures and The Father, Jesus, Mom and his parents and many, many angels. It was a magnificent party of great rejoicing. I remember feeling uncomfortable when Lionel patted Tom on the shoulder in that hospital room. I knew then, in my Spirit, that Tom was no longer in his body but the demons were.


Those 6 hours in the Spirit with Tom, at the moment of this revelation, felt like a lifetime of marriage nestled in unspeakable intimacy. It was as if Tom was finally freed of his corruptible body with the demons that had tormented him for so many years. I felt his pure, profound love for me. I was getting to feel the man I married who loved people and loved to make them laugh, or get them to smile when they were having a bad day.


People often told Tom, "You just made my day!"


I enjoyed hearing these stories from him but that wasn’t my usual experience with Tom. He was very appreciated by people who got to know him, but they didn’t usually see him under the influence of his demons. And I seldom got to see him in the Spirit. My demons made sure of it. 


I understood the immense satisfaction I felt when a couple months earlier, I heard God say, "Well done Carmen. You did good! You stayed married to the end."

We Can Inheirit Fears

If you have not gone through any type of deliverance then I propose you are captive and chained in some area of your life. I can usually tell when someone is in bondage to a spirit of fear because they will react to my talking of demons, quoting: "I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power..." I want to say, We know Father God has not given you that spirit of fear so where did it come from and how did you get it?


Recently, Father God told me I had a spirit of the fear of hard work. My mother passed this on to me because she was used as a slave in her own family. She was expected to do everything; farm chores, meal preparations, clean-up and housekeeping, driving the family to church, taking care of her little sister, plus school and a job for pay. She saved her money and sent $500 to an Art School in Minneapolis, MN the summer she graduated from HS in Nooksack, WA near the Canadian border. She had a bus ticket and $10 when she left home. When she arrived to Minneapolis, the school did not exist. Two years later, she met and married my dad and I was born 6 months later. The one thing she didn't want for her baby was to work her like a slave.

Pastor Rob Is Teaching Isaiah

There are some specific verses in Isaiah that have stood out for me as from My Father.
Isaiah 60: 10b says,
       "For in My wrath I struck you,
       And in My favor I have had compassion on you."


And,
Isaiah 61:1,2,3b
       The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
       Because the LORD has anointed me
       To bring good news to the afflicted;
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
       To proclaim liberty to captives
       And freedom to prisoners;
       To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD
       And the day of vengeance of our God;
       To comfort all who mourn,..
       The planting of the LORD, that HE may be glorified.
And,
Isaiah 61:4+6a
       Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins,
       They will raise up the former devastations;
       And they will repair the ruined cities,
       The desolations of many generations.
       But you will be called the priests of the LORD;
       You will be spoken of as ministers of our God.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I Threw The First Punch

By the time I had been married  over 20 years, I began to ask God to let me see how I had influenced our family. I told God, "I know how Tom affected our family but will you show me how I did?" I had been meditating on "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it?"  I really wanted to know how my actions negatively impacted our family. I got up for the day and while taking my shower I remembered the name 'Luke Austin' and I asked, "Why did you give me the name Luke Austin and then we had a John Paul and the two girls?


"Because you murdered your first born." was an immediate response. and I quickly agreed, "Oh I did!"


Then, Father God continued, "Your heart deceived you." Instantly, I remembered the circumstances and was able to agree with the truth. I felt a deep sense of understanding all the ramifications. No remorse or guilt, just understanding. I was just 3 weeks pregnant and Tom and I had the pregnancy confirmed by a blood test that day. Then we were invited to go for a hot tub at the Elks with some friends of ours. I thought I could dip in and out and not raise my core temperature and therefore no harm would come to the embryo/fetus. I started hemorrhaging the next day and had an emergency D&C at 10 PM that night.


I was out of the shower and now standing over the sink, looking into the mirror I said out loud, "I am so sorry,"


I was apologizing to God, Jesus, Luke, Tom and my family, everyone, when I heard the voice of my son over the doorway of the bathroom, "Hi, Mom!"


I said, "Hi Luke!" 


A little later Father God said, "He was created in the image of your husband." This made me really sad. I knew how much Tom would have related to a son who had interests like his own. John would have made a great second born boy with a big brother.


It was about a month ago that The Holy Spirit revealed to me that I threw the first punch. It makes being able to write about real events that took place with a sense of detachment because I do not identify with the behaviors of my flesh anymore. I am bought with the precious blood of Jesus and it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live I live for the glory of God and I understand Paul in Romans chapter 7 where he says when he does the very thing he does not want to do it is no longer him doing it "but sin that dwells within me." My life is hidden in Christ. My Spirit dwells with the Holy Spirit, we are one and the same. My flesh on the other hand is dead, it was crucified with Christ. This is spiritual warfare. The war that wages amongst my members, between my Spirit and my flesh, the Holy Spirit and angels vs principalities.
After Tom died, I was reflecting on the day, early in our marriage when I made a critical comment straight from the pit of hell and about Tom's way of praying. "Why do you pray such 'Mary had a little lamb prayers'?"
This crushed the tender spirit of my young in the Lord husband. My spirit longed for more meat from the Word in our lives and more time in prayer together. I had my own demons and Tom was bound by his demons and they were powerful. They hated the Word of God. His demons battled my demons most of our marriage.


Yesterday, I was thinking about situations from my marriage and I could just see Satan going before the throne of God and getting permission to sift our marriage.  I also see Father God placed a well fortified hedge of protection around our children. Satan started with me and He used the critical spirit I had. I remember seriously addressing that critical spirit 3-4 times in spiritual warfare and received much deliverance throughout the years, but I still see it rear it's ugly head when my flesh prevails on the throne for control in my life.

That One Afternoon I Was Four

It was a gorgeous afternoon and I sat under the large oak tree making mud pies. I was 4 years old and though I don't know if I was out there in my yard one hour or three hours, I know was sent to play outside and it was a glorious day! I made four mud pies...one for mommy, one for daddy, one for me and??? The last one had to have been for either my 2 year old sister or my 1 year old baby brother or both? Anyway, I had been de-throned and was trying to find my way back to a place of recognition and supremacy as the Queen of the family.
That fateful afternoon, for however long, I was out of her hair and self-entertained, when she called me in to wash up for dinner. That meant she had the hot food almost ready to be put on the table, the baby in the highchair and I was next. My mom freaked out when she saw how muddy I was! She was angry. She told me to stand there (on the porch) and she went inside (probably set the food on the table) came back and hosed me off wth the freezing cold water in a fit of rage. I decided to divorce my parents as a result of this final insult. Since rebellion is as the sin of witchccraft, I entered into a realm and opened a door to the deomonic that most anyone who has tasted abuse with rebellion could testify.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

For Such a Day As This

We must live one day at a time. For me, it was very difficult to live in the moment. I know what it is like to spend most of my childhood subject to unclean spirits who had permission to be there. Saved at 18 years of age during the Charismatic movement, I graduated from Rex Putnam High School in 1974. I might have found a way to commit suicide if I hadn't found Jesus. In August '74 God established me with a roommate and my first best friend, Mimi Hostmann, who later became Mimi Meyer. She would often say, "Preach it sister!" and I would say, "Live it sister!" Life was fun. I saturated my life with the Word of God and all that could mean for me. I often felt I could not move or live without Him in my very being.


I attended George Fox College in Newberg, Oregon for pre-nursing. I remember praying a lot. I remember being drawn to the needy because no one was drawn to me. But my self esteem grew strong in the Lord because I often found shelter in the shadow of His wing. At University of Portland I sang at folk mass every Wed but my favorite time was Saturday morning prayer with the Charismatic Nuns. My friend Zana said to me after one of these prayer meetings, "I love praying with you because when you pray, I know I am in the presence of God." I am sure there was an occasional prayer meeting she prayed I'd keep my mouth shut. Or more accurately, "Stop talking!"


I had just moved into a large older stone home that had established roommates, 4 single gals from Hinson Memorial Baptist Church. Here I lived in SE Portland the morning Mt St Helens erupted in May 1980. There was about 3/4 inch ash on the hood of my car but miles of thick ash clouds carried the ash across Minnesota. Seems to me European air traffic was affected.


A couple years after graduating from U of Portland, I was attending Prince of Peace Church in Portland, Oregon and living with an elders family. His wife Linda, shared with me she thought my struggles were demonic. Afterall, though Linda didn't know it, I divorced my parents and was in rebellion from age 4. It sounded like truth and I felt hopeful I would soon experience victory from self-discipline and power. That prayer session was powerful and educational at the very least. I experienced the reality of a foreign entity in my flesh and I had no idea it was there. After this deliverance time with the elders I was aware of a whole new playing field where angels fought and the prayers of the saints were important. Prince of Peace Church was modeled after Calvary-Chuck Smith's Church down in California. My pastor's name was Chuck Smith also!


Jumping a head to the January Tuesday morning that Obama gave his inaugural address, I stayed home from Ladies Prayer meeting to watch it live and went to the study late. Actually, I arrived before prayer was over because I sat on the carpeted floor with my arms on the padded chair and wept with streams of emotion I wasn''t too familiar with. Right before Obama opened his mouth, God said, "For such a day as this I called you to nursing," Wow! That was an answer to a question I asked God in 2003, six years earlier to the month. "and," He continued, "you are my best friend." For about 4 weeks, I was reading Daniel, John's writings, Isaiah and Moses. I was already more familiar with David as God's friend but I was wanting my own best friend position with God/Jesus. God chose that moment to tell me I was His best friend too. That word still sits very softly in the very center of My Being.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Refuge and the Stronghold

Stronghold is the term the enemy has convinced many Christians to use only in reference to the work of Satan or his demons (I prefer calling them principalities). A stronghold was a place set up in time of war that was for refuge. It was fortified and protected! Webster's defines it as a place dominated by a particular group, a fortified place, FORTRESS. When the enemy is given permission to set up a stronghold in our lives, it is a camp of lies under very heavy protection. Spiritual warfare tears down strongholds, breaks the bonds of wickedness and sets the captives free. Then our Father establishes His law in our hearts and His Holy Spirit in our very being. This stronghold is a mighty fortress!!


I was held captive and delivered from some nasty, big strongholds throughout my 37 years as a Christian but the critical spirit I inherited from my ancestors was devastating to my marriage and my family. As well as, Queen Know-it-all was a doozie, but seeing the release of my husband's Spirit from his tormentors and being given the opportunity to send them to Hades, I was then able to recognize my own demons and make them gone in the Name of Jesus. I have a clarity of mind that I have never known. I feel clean. I am able to really hear my own thoughts. I am able to stay in the moment and sense moment to moment when separation of my Spirit from Father God occurs and my flesh takes control. And I have a confidence and might in my Spirit and a firm resolve to endure to the end! It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives within me!

The Realm Around Us

Satan is called the prince of the powers of the air. Fallen angels exiled to this earth are called principalities. They will not receive recognition nor any glory by anything I put into print. But God is calling me to publish my experiences with these principalities.


At the women's retreat, I met an older lady at the women's retreat that gave me a feeling of uneasiness. After speaking with her again the next afternoon/evening, I said to my new little sister Kimberly, "She has something really big going on in her. I am not sure what but it's there." I am sure I prayed prayers for her deliverance because I have the gift of tongues and I use this gift often either when I am alone or under my breath. The next morning during worship time, Rochelle was brought up on stage by Cindy and she gave a very concise testimony of a lie that had been spoken into her life during her young salvation days of the Jesus movement in the 60s. She heard a new name from the Lord and found it in Isaiah 62: Hephzibah. It means, My delight is in her! The best I remember how it goes, as Rochelle received this new name and believed it for herself as from Father God's heart, she was reminded of the time when this huge lie took root in her flesh. Cindy read Isaiah 62. It was glorious! We gave God an ovation and the Spirit in me yelled, "THANK YOU JESUS!"


Afterwards, Kimberly led Rochelle up to me and I explained what I had felt and she quickly replied, "Oh, those were the cobwebs!" I was speechless. She didn't have ears to hear so I had nothing to be said. Mary was sitting next to me and I sensed God had an antidote for her with a bone condition she received genetically. She received it and it will be great to hear how the experience turns out for her. Later that day, after arriving home, Kimberly and I were going through books she had in a box in the back of her car to give away. We perceived something not good from a book published through the Unitarian church. We decided to burn it (at least the cover and front pages) and we did so in my driveway. We also prayed the blood of Jesus over my house after telling any and all unclean spirits to depart. We prayed the blood over all the door posts and threshholds, windows, mirrors, my daughter Amelia and the places where we lie down. Immediately Kimberly stated it felt more peaceful.


What if there are more fallen angels exiled here than there are people on the planet right now? God gave me the number 450 million billion as symboilic. We know there are twice as many warrior angels doing Father God's bidding as our servants and guardians.


To be free is so simple. Always ask: "What is the Truth?" and, "Expose the lie." There is a realm around us whether we want to believe it or not. Our unbelief only makes us vulnerable and ineffective in spiritual warfare. I enjoy knowing their existance and having their schemes revealed. I love fighting the good fight with Jesus. He's got your back, now learn how to use the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit, put on the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the belt of Truth, and everywhere your feet tread, spread the Good News!

We Need Each Other

Our church secretary, Cindy, helped me to see how I was still in training. I was a Champion Race Horse and there was too much risk of injury if I was put into the racing circuit too soon. She reminded me of something Pastor Rob had spoken from the pulpit about us being directed with God's eye upon us. He also liked saying, "I'd rather get it in the ear than get it in the rear." Cindy and I talked about the bit and bridle and I heard about a rider being able to use subtle ways to communicate to his horse. God continued to give me various pictures using this imagery and I saw myself as a Champion already in the race but the tension on the reins was because the jockey knew how much distance was yet to go before the finish line. This jockey knew his horse and vise versa. They both knew when the time was right, the reins would be relaxed and the horse would kick into high gear and give it all he had until he crossed the finish line.


I made a cardboard testimony at the retreat this weekend and the word that represented so much of my life was DORMANT and the word God gave me for the new side is: ESTABLISHED. I am resting even more at peace with waiting upon God and listening to The Holy Spirit for living in the moment. I am writing my testimony for a book as it relates to my experiences in the battle of my life amongst my flesh and my Spirit. There are so many ways every person whom God placed in my life these past 37 years has helped in my learning all that Father God is putting together for His Glory and His Name sake only.

Hephzibah For My Daughter Jamie

What Isaiah has to say in Chapter 62 of his book in the Old Testament of the Bible is about Zion's glory and a new name is given. In prayer, My daughter, Jamie Lee Winter, is given this name: Hephzibah, "My delight is in her"!  I feel this is the name Dad would have pick for her as well!


For this blog, I am writing out the whole chapter of Isaiah 62.


Isaiah 62:1
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
        And for Jerusalem's sake I will not keep quiet,
        Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness,
        And her salvation like a torch that is burning.
2. The nations will see your righteousness,
       And all kings your glory;
       And you will be called by a new name
       Which the mouth of the LORD will designate.
3. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
       And a royal diadem in the hand of God.
4. It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
       Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
       But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
       And your  land, "Married";
       For the LORD delights in you,
       And to Him your land will be married.
       For as a young man marries a virgin,
       So your sons will marry you;
       And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
       So your God will rejoice over you.
6. On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have appointed watchmen;
       All day and all night they will never keep silent.
       You who remind the LORD, take no rest for yourselves;
7. And give Him no rest until He establishes
       And makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth.
8. The LORD has sworn by
       His right hand and by His strong arm,
       "I will never again give your grain as food for your enemies;
       Nor will foreigners drink your new wine for which you have labored."
9. But those who garner it will eat it and praise the LORD;
       And those who gather it will drink it in the courts of My sanctuary.
10. Go through, go through the gates,
       Clear the way for the people;
       Build up, build up the highway,
       Remove the stones, lift up a standard over the peoples.
11. Behold, the LORD has proclaimed to the end of the earth,
       Say to the daughter of Zion, "Lo, your salvation comes;
       Behold His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him."
12. And they will call them, "The holy people,
       The redeemed of the LORD";
       And you will be called, "Sought out, a city not forsaken."

Whirlwind Journeys

At the Calvary Women's Retreat this past weekend in Turner, Oregon, a friend shared how she has been on a whirlwind journey since the first of January and has filled her recorder with thoughts through the experience. I too have been on an amazing journey since the death of my husband. At the retreat, God established me. A couple years ago I received a word from God from my Pastor, Rob Verdeyen. According to my memory, he said there was a building being constructed and he saw a pile of stones that had been set aside for some time and he asked Father God why they were discarded or not being used. Then what I also heard next was, "These stones are cut for a specific purpose, a chosen place in the building." I then saw the pile and as Rob continued to discribe the stones, I also saw a stone that was curved and smooth on one edge and rough and unique on the other edge. Rob mentioned one of the stones was to be used in an arch. Father God then told me, "You are that archway stone being held for specific placement." During this same 2 year period of time, God used our church secretary, Cindy, to help me understand something God was showing me one day. I told her I felt like there was a bit and bridle in my mouth with constant slight tension holding me back. I wanted to let go and run with all my might but the Father was saying not yet.

Learning To Ride A Bike

I remember what it felt like when I hadn't yet ridden a 2-wheel bike. I had training wheels and the day came when they came off. I was nervous and excited, unsure yet confident enough to try anything. I got on and Mom or Dad ran behind me then let go of the seat and I knew I was on my own. It was great!

Writing this blog is as exciting and comfortable a feeling as I could have. Yet I know I am on my own when it comes to my choices and self-discipline, but my identity in Jesus is solid and My confidence is in the Holy Spirit. I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives within me. And as Paul says in Romans, "When I do the very thing I do not want to do it is no longer I doing it, but sin that dwells within me." I understand Paul. I get it! 

The name of my new book is: WARFARE by Carmen Lee Kirk Winter

There has been so much anticipation for the arrival of this day. I have known how to wait upon the Lord. I want for Him to be able to direct me with His Eye. I want to "get it in the ear," as Pastor Rob would say, "and not in the rear."